I hate vampires.

[prisoner_24601]

Why does every vampire in every damn book have to:

1) Be insanely hot
2) Own a goddamn nightclub
3) Be a sexual tyrannosaurus
4) Be conflicted and overly emotional

I mean, where the hell are the fat, balding, middle aged car salesmans that got made into a vampires? Or the granny vampires (which would rule so much)? Why is every single one a super hot stud muffin with no chest hair, chiseled features and piercing eyes?

You think that they could branch out in professions too. Where the hell are corporate vampires and political vampires or the redneck vampires that want to watch football and drive their pickup trucks around while drinking a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon?

Why does almost every author write the same goddamn thing?

I'm getting so bored with this cliché that I actively avoid any book in it with a vampire now. Unfortunately I broke this rule the other day when I picked up Nora Robert's new book Morrigan's Cross at the airport before jumping on the plane (yes - I read romance novels on rare occasions and Nora Roberts is a decent, albeit rather repetitive, author) and I'm regretting it now.

Serves me right.

Comments

A different Vamp

[dhtrofisis.livejournal.com]

If your find yourself in a sea of look-a-like uber vamp hottness I can suggest three words too you...

Chelsea Quinn Yarbro

She's been writing her series for over twenty years now. While her character is described as handsome it's not the Anita Blake/Rice type of handsome. He's short, and has terrible scarring (from his death) that causes people to stop cold when they see it. The stories are very dark and rarely have a happy ending so the are not really good if your looking for a light read. Honestly I'm surprised no one has mentioned Yarbro's books. They are a refreshing and original look at the Vampire myth. Oddly her first book "Hotel Transylvania" is probably the most romance like of the series. They all take place in historical settings from ancient Rome to a short story in the 1970's. The books are hard to find though. Yarbro has quite a devoted cult following which has kept her able to publish for so many years but they aren't really a mass market success. I find most of mine on Amazon, although I'm lucky enough that my local library also carries a lot of them

Re: A different Vamp

[prisoner--24601.livejournal.com]

ooo thank you. That sounds just exactly like the kind of books I'd like to read and refreshingly different than most of the other vampire stuff out there.

My library is rather small (they have a great kids collection, but the adult stuff is a teeny tiny section), but I'm going to try to dig them up there or see if I can't order them off of the internet.

Thanks for the suggestion!