prisoner_24601: Dragon Age (Default)
prisoner_24601 ([personal profile] prisoner_24601) wrote2007-04-11 06:23 am
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300

So I finally went and saw 300 the other day - and boy was it awful... awesomely awful.

I think I'm too old and perhaps of the wrong gender to think that this is a good movie - a fact that was punctuated by the 15 year old teenage boys behind us that were yelling "sweet!" at key moments and commented afterward that they'd thought it was the most awesome movie they'd ever seen.

Still, it was bad in an awesomely bad and entertaining way. There were a ton of hot guys wearing next to no clothing - although I have to admit that I was hoping that at some point, somewhere, we'd get to see a dude that had a bit of chest hair (sadly, that did not happen). It's amazing how hairless the men of Sparta apparently were. It was like they all stepped out of an Anita Blake novel.

It was also pretty sweet how the actor Leonidas shouted nearly every single one of his lines. There were several moments in the movie that I broke out into inappropriate laughter - one of which was when the dudes dressed as ninjas showed up.

It was also kind of interesting how they cherry picked from Spartan history. There were several things that were actually accurate. The opening sequence about how their children were raised was entirely truthful. So was the fact that women in Sparta had a hell of a lot more freedom than practically anywhere else in the Greek world. They even included my all time favorite Spartan saying "come back with your shield, or on it" which was something that Spartan mothers told their sons before they went off to battle. They also had the coolest version of phalanx formation fighting that I've ever seen - I really wish there'd been more actually instead of falling back on the matrixesque one on one fighting that got rather boring after awhile.

But man... there was some stuff that was so bullshit. For one thing, Sparta’s fighting for "freedom" when they themselves had a society built on slavery (and actually, not only did they have slaves but they made slaves out of their Greek neighbors - which was huge bone of contention between Sparta and other Greek city states).

Also there is no historical evidence that I've seen that Xerxes was a drag queen. Nor is there really any evidence that he was any more evil than any other conqueror at the time (like you know... Alexander the Great... a Greek). Even more crazy was the idea that Sparta was full of heterosexual men. Men and women were pretty much segregated in a lot of ways. Men of fighting age didn't live with their family - they lived in barracks with the other guys. And while a man was expected to marry (and I use that term very loosely) and have children, he generally had a male lover. The same was true with the women.

Not that I expected historical accuracy, but it was kinda interesting how they chose the stuff they thought was cool and completely ignored everything else.

All and all, a hilarious time, mostly due to the kids sitting behind us.

[identity profile] plutospawn.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 02:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I had fun watching it, but it was mostly for all the eyecandy with all the images and colors they chose... like when all the 300 are sprawled out dead, they didn't just fall like that, they were specifically postioned to create a complete artistic composition and I would bet good money that someone was looking at a specific painting/frieze whatever for reference.

But oh man, when the Spartans started talking about those Arcadian gay men, I laughed my ass off. In a way I don't think the movie producers had intended.

[identity profile] prisoner--24601.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I see what you mean. There were several times when I thought that they were probably looking at a specific piece of artwork as a reference piece (and man do I know Jack shit about art – so if I was picking up on it, it must have been pretty obvious to people that know what they’re looking at). Another time I thought looked familiar was when the Spartans come across all those people nailed to that tree. I swear, I've seen that in another form somewhere.

It was definitely a visually interesting movie. I almost wish that it had been a silent film with just a score and no dialogue to distract from the visuals, because 90% of the dialogue was completely giggleworthy.

And agreed about laughing when the Spartans started talking about the gay Arcadians. My husband had to keep nudging me to be quiet because I was laughing so freaking hard.

[identity profile] midnight-hawk.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 02:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I suspected the movie was a bunch of testosterone-fueled bullshit masquerading as a subversive political commentary on current events. It does make for great macros (http://community.livejournal.com/randompictures/2209617.html), though.

[identity profile] prisoner--24601.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG those were hilarious.

While there was a ton of testosterone fueled bullshit (which I expected as this is based off of a Frank Miller comic), it wasn't nearly clever enough to be subversive political commentary.

I mean, really, I don't think that you could say equate America with the Spartans or the Persians with Iraquis or something - even in the bs universe of this movie (all of the Persians were played by black people actually) or historically for that matter. Both sides come across as supreme assholes, really. Honestly, I think the whole "we fight for freedom" bit is simply to make the Spartans more palatable for American audiences, as "hey we're fighting dudes that are kinda like us" doesn't have the same emotional appeal. Same thing about ignoring the widespread homosexuality in Spartain culture. I think it's due more to the desire to make a quick buck than to make any conscious statements.

[identity profile] kosiah.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
in what universe do straight men wax their chests?

[identity profile] prisoner--24601.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
In the Anita Blake universe of hot, bearchested vampires that all want to have sex with her... :P

[identity profile] kosiah.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait -- doesn't Richard have chest hair? Or maybe that's why they broke up?

And going back to the movie... Spartans are Greek. Greeks are not hairless people! I do really want to see it, will prob wait for it to come out on video though.

[identity profile] prisoner--24601.livejournal.com 2007-04-12 01:16 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, I don't think Richard does - because I remember being all wtf when the werewolf dude ends up being all hairless. I may have to go out to the garage and dig out some Anita Blake books to find out for sure though.

It makes no sense to me for either Greeks or Werewolves to not have chest hair.

[identity profile] grimbles.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 04:11 pm (UTC)(link)
That movie gets points for having the lamest, most unscary homosexual bad guy of all time. Also, I wasnt' aware Spartans spoke with accents better fitting Great Britain.

[identity profile] prisoner--24601.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yeah. Xerxes was so amazingly bad. I'm kind of unsure how someone dressed like they just stepped out of a drag club is supposed to be menacing and scary. Then again, he probably wasn't supposed to be scary - he's probably just there to show how awesome and manly the Spartans are.

I also think the british accents were a vain attempt to make the dialogue sound smarter and less idiotic than it really was. That and the epic amount of shouting. Not that it worked... lol.

[identity profile] athenaprime.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Movie truism #742: Dialogue shouted loudly and in a British accent is High Drama (TM).

Then again, he probably wasn't supposed to be scary - he's probably just there to show how awesome and manly the Spartans are.

I haven't seen the movie--only YouTube stupidity surrounding the movie (so bits and parts and some really wacky shit), but this really baffled me, as well. Then I remembered it's Hollywood, and doesn't have to make sense. As long as the banana-hammocks are properly stuffed and the cgi-six packs are properly waxed, the money--it rolleth in.

[identity profile] foxfire74.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
It was like they all stepped out of an Anita Blake novel.

What cracked me up was a bit I saw quoted from Laurell Hamilton's blog, to the effect of "I write lots of sex, but some of the deviant sex in here kinda squicked me a little". As far as anybody can tell, the deviancy was girls kissing girls.

[identity profile] athenaprime.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
What cracked me up was a bit I saw quoted from Laurell Hamilton's blog, to the effect of "I write lots of sex, but some of the deviant sex in here kinda squicked me a little". As far as anybody can tell, the deviancy was girls kissing girls.

That's because they weren't kissing Anita, like everyone and everything in that universe is supposed to either do or want to do. :P

[identity profile] prisoner--24601.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Roflmao. That was my first thought too.

[identity profile] prisoner--24601.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
That is truly hilarious. She probably thought it was deviant sex because there were only two people involved at a time.

THEN WE SHALL HUG IN THE SHADE

[identity profile] rimwalker.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)

Re: THEN WE SHALL HUG IN THE SHADE

[identity profile] prisoner--24601.livejournal.com 2007-04-11 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Omg rim.

HAHAHAHAHA

Many hugs in the shade for you!

Re: THEN WE SHALL HUG IN THE SHADE

[identity profile] fezastwin.livejournal.com 2007-04-12 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
I haven't seen it yet either, but was planning on catching it eventually for the eye candy.

I can't see Rim's 'Hug in the shade' pic on my work comp, dammit :/

THIS IS DELICIOUS

[identity profile] rimwalker.livejournal.com 2007-04-12 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
BRUSH YOUR TEEEEEEEETH

Re: THEN WE SHALL HUG IN THE SHADE

[identity profile] maddcoffeybrown.livejournal.com 2007-04-12 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
He died because it wasn't a twinkie!