Things that annoy the hell out of me in romance stories.

[prisoner_24601]

I have to admit that, while I'm a sucker for a good romance, I actually detest 95% of romance novels. Romance seems to work better when it is worked into a larger, overarching plot, at least for me. So when I found myself writing a pure romance story (i.e. romance as the main focus of the plot), I was kind of shocked.

Since I have never attempted writing one before, I realized that I had no idea how to put a romance together, so I watched a lot of movies and read a lot of romance novels to try to figure it out. I also checked out the internet, and discovered there are an amazing number of websites dedicated to romance writing tips (most of which I completely disagree with). But instead of finding a common denominator about what I liked, I seemed to find a common denominator of things that irritated me and turned me off to the story (heh - I wonder what that says about me...LOL).

I made a list of things that annoy the hell out of me in romance stories. I tried to keep the list particular to romance stories, so things that plague all stories (like Mary Sues) I left off the list. And I thought I would share my awesome and profound wisdom with you all... :P

1. Characters who would be having sex, should have sex.

This is a huge pet peeve of mine. There are absolutely wonderful stories out there that have been ruined by this. It drives me absolutely insane when I see two characters, totally hot for each other and madly in love, who for some amazingly contrived plot reason, aren't having sex. It becomes especially annoying when characters are about to have sex and get interrupted again, and again, and again. I think this happens because a lot of romance authors are told that unless sex is going to reveal something about the characters or make the situation worse, it shouldn't happen, because it kills the romantic tension of the story. I kind of see their point, but I don't think that the answer is to come up with completely convoluted plot reasons for the characters not to do the deed.

There are legitimate reasons for two characters not sleeping together. But unless the author has established a cultural, ethical, or legitimate plot reason, I tune out as a reader when I see this. For instance, I wouldn't expect for characters in romance set in Edwardian England to sleep together until they got married. I wouldn't expect a shy and modest character to just jump into bed without some thought first.

2. If a character is raped (or abused as a child), then they don't get to be healed by the power of their one true love.

It's surprising how often this shows up in stories. A character will get raped, but because of the love and TLC of their significant other (and some extremely hot sex), everything is all better in the space of an extremely short period of time.

Come on. This kind of horrible abuse takes years to get over, and it is disrespectful to see writers use this as a plot contrivance to create teh drama and teh angst. What I especially hate are stories where a character is raped, but then magically healed by telepaths or the Force, so that ten minutes later, she's normal again and ready for some lovin'.

If an author is going to have a character get raped, then it is that author's duty to treat the material with respect, and actually deal with the realistic consequences. This means that the heroine will not want to be touched by another man, even her one true love, unless she's been through a lot of therapy.

3. Characters need to have a life outside of the romance.

I've read stories where I get the feeling that when the hero leaves the heroine alone, all she does is think about her lover, and wish that he were back with her. She doesn't exist as a separate person with their own desires, wants, needs, motivations, and everything revolves around the other person. This kind of co-dependant behavior is not sexy... it's dysfunctional and creepy.

4. "My love."

Unless they were living a hundred years ago, or so... people don't call each other this. Really, they don't. Seriously, this makes me want to giggle every time a character says this.

5. Characters need to like each other before they fall in love.

I've read some stories where the two characters, are totally attracted to each other for no other reason than the author says so. They are completely shitty to each other, they bicker and abuse each other horribly (because they love each other so much - don't you see) and then they all of the sudden declare their love and we the readers are supposed to believe that these two people are soul mates. WTF?

The characters need to like each other, and see qualities in each other that they like and are attracted to. This doesn't mean that the characters always have to agree with one another, but if the author hasn't shown me some reason for why these two people would like each other, beyond physical attraction, it's hard to get emotionally invested in the relationship. I've actually read romance novels where at the end, when the characters are finally together and all is happy, all I can think about is how these two people will be divorced in a year.

6. Misunderstandings that can be solved by two adults sitting down for five minutes and talking like adults, should be solved that way.

I hate it when misunderstandings drag on, and on, and on. There has to be a better way to create plot tension than that.

7. Love at first sight is boring.

Seriously, it is. At least it is in a romance novel. The whole fun is watching the attraction grow, so skipping to the cream of the story in the beginning completely defeats the purpose.

8. So is OMG! ONE TRU WUV!!!!111!!!!.

This is a huge pet peeve of mine, especially in Kotor fanfiction. Listen, ladies, Carth was married before he met Revan, and presumably he was happy (in fact, it makes it much more tragic if he loved his wife). Revan, is not his ONE TRU WUV 4EVAR.

Realistically, people can fall in love with all different kinds of people. I don't buy the soul mates forever thing in life or in fiction. Maybe I'm just jaded about this, I don't know. But when I see it in stories, I get bored.

9. Heroines need to act like adults, and not like complete flaky twits.

Personally, unless written very well (such as Bridget Jones' Diary), I find it almost impossible to identify with stupid, flighty, female, co-dependant characters. There are a lot of heroines in romance novels, whom I just want to smack and yell "Grow the hell up!" at.

10. If a hero is not a nice man, then stop writing fluffy romances about him.

This happens in kotor2 fanfic, a lot. Atton is not a nice man. He has some deeply scary mental issues that are unresolved in the game. He is also a complete and utter horndog. So if an author wants to write a fluffy romance featuring Atton, they need to do some serious character development before I'll believe that this man 1) actually can love the Exile, 2) actually does love the Exile and 3) that he is capable of having a functional relationship.

Anyway, that is the extent of my awesome wisdom. :P

Comments

[rose70.livejournal.com]

Word on all of it, especially:

This is a huge pet peeve of mine, especially in Kotor fanfiction. Listen, ladies, Carth was married before he met Revan, and presumably he was happy (in fact, it makes it much more tragic if he loved his wife). Revan, is not his ONE TRU WUV 4EVAR.

I read part of a fic the other day where Carth sat Revan down before proposing to her and told her how he had been young and carefree and rushed into his marriage with Morgana, and all she did was hen-peck him about staying home, and while he was in the fleet he heard rumors about her being unfaithful. Dustil apparently confirmed it when he found him, and Morgana was going to leave him when he returned to Telos but then she died.

Now don't get me wrong, I'd be willing to accept an unfaithful Morgana if it was done well. (I'd definitely be tempted if I was left alone all the time with my young son, even if my husband WAS Carth Onasi :P) But why does it always have to be that she was a lesser person than Revan? (Which you can never do, no matter how much of hen-picking harpy you turn Morgana into. Revan DESTROYED WORLDS, KILLED THOUSANDS, tried to TAKE OVER THE GALAXY BY BRUTE FORCE. Morgana's going to win this one no matter what.) Why does it have to be that he loves Revan X amount of times more than he ever loved Morgana? Why can't they both be attractive women with good personalities that he loved for different reasons but still equally?

[firera.livejournal.com]

*looks at Pluto's post* Oh my God...you've perverted my mind now....Hey, maybe...maybe Dustil's Karath's son afterall!!! O_O

As for love at first sight. It isn't necessarily dull. But only if the author does it right. I've never actually read a romance story, but I think I'd go for one where two characters reallly like each other at first sight but would rather take things slowly. Makes more sense and you get to see how the characters develope their love for each other...

And Pris, I now shudder in fear for my original fic after reading this. *tears*

I rambled...

[miakun.livejournal.com]

Massive Word here.

3. Characters need to have a life outside of the romance.

This bugs me more in fiction than it does in real life (okay maybe they're equal). Having an obsessive co-dependant relationship (which happens a lot) is sick and will not work out, period. You have to have other goals and jaunts in life. So if this is displayed in a story there should be some mention of how bad it is and it shouldn't work out - because I'm not opposed to it completely since it happens in real life, but it's ridiculous how they act like it's okay.


6. Misunderstandings that can be solved by two adults sitting down for five minutes and talking like adults, should be solved that way.

Three's Company, 'nuff said.

8. So is OMG! ONE TRU WUV!!!!111!!!!.

This probably bothers me the most, because I get jumped on whenever I try to explain this to people. Revan and Carth were put together by a situation, because of the situation they work together and came together, but that doesn't make it better or worse than anything else. Carth would not spend four years trying to get revenge if he didn't love his wife fully. And if Revan had've come about any earlier or even AS A JEDI he would not have gone after her. (I seriously doubt Carth would hit on Jedi, he seems to have a distaste for them and before he knows she's Revan he doesn't really consider her a real Jedi and then ahahah too late Onasi).

But really there are lots of other people that could match your personality and click with you enough to develop into love. One true love, especially in Star Wars with a galaxy that big, is really tragic - meaning you have a very low probabilty of finding them.

Morgana and Carth were married. That's all there is to it, they had a child and the only thing Dustil ever complains about is Carth never being around (angst little boy angst), but putting Morgana as the bad guy and how Revan is so much better for Carth. PUH-lease.

So they're saying a widower who marries again didn't really love his first wife?

10. If a hero is not a nice man, then stop writing fluffy romances about him.

I keep trying to explain this to people as well, but I get smacked down. It takes a lot of character development for either of those two nut jobs to be stable enough to develop a romance - not to mention Force bonds that are nastier and more controlling than Revan and Bastila's. I mean, jeez.

Mmhm.

[angelan.livejournal.com]

I think #3 is probably the reason I never read straight romance. Of course, I also hate the 'romantic subplot' in films. I can't stand characters who are only in the story because they're the obligatory 'love interest'. They're always boring, because you can only think of them in relation to the protagonist. I generally prefer it if two characters are introduced seperately, become friends and get to know each other, then have romance. (Actually, my major preferance is for romance between characters who are already married/together. I think that's probably just me, though).
I've seen way too many films lately which have the romance shoehorned in, as if people will go away with loathing in their hearts if they don't see people kiss at the end.

I also hate disappearing girlfriend syndrome, but I don't think that's really relavant, so never mind ;)

I think Atton/Exile is great fodder for some really nasty dark stories. Especially if one or both of them turns to the dark side. I mean, that relationship is so sick it should be in a hospice. Same could be said for ALL the potential romances on board the Ebon Hawk mark II, to be honest, although I haven't played it through as a male yet...the thought of romancing Visas is just...*shiver*

Anyway, mostly I just wanted to say I love your writing, so I dunno where the rest of that post came from ;).

[kosiah.livejournal.com]

Hm, how did I miss this? What was I doing? Oh, it was earnings I was in hell.

Okay, I say "my love" in rl. I confess. Usually not every other sentence though, unless I am being sarcastic. I can see Carth saying it. Malak...totally would say it. Canderous...no.

Re: sex and the romance. I dunno...I really do have this belief that sex, while great, is not the end-all be all culminating thnigie. There's no rule that says every culture in the Star Wars galaxy has hang ups about it either. Many may not. I picture the Fleet as kinda like Starship Troopers, or Peacekeepers in Farscape. People have sex. It passes the time. I suspect half the Padawans in the Jedi Temple were making out in the bushes in the Meditation Garden...they just didn't talk about it, because it was against the rules. Much like boarding school or summer camp.

Any fiction that makes a big deal of it one way or the other, bugs me, although I admit being more bugged by the not getting around to it than the shagging all the time. (As long as I don't have to read about the shagging...all...the time. In moderation okay.)

You know, a bad cheating Morgana could be good. I thought about having them have an imperfect marriage, only to create a Morgana that would be in contrast to Pris's, who's pretty much canon. Decided against it though because I didn't want to suggest that moral fabrication that Revan is better than Morgana was. Because whatever Morgana did, obviously she didn't sack worlds.