Proof that getting pregnant is the equivilant of smoking crack for some women...

[prisoner_24601]

I'd always heard horror stories about people naming their children idiotic things, and I'd just recently reread Baby's Named a Bad Bad Thing thanks to midnight_hawk but I'd never quite witnessed this idiocy myself. However today I was tooling around over on a local mom message board when I ran across this post. I swear, I didn't make this shit up. I suspect you all will find this as sadly hilarious as I did.

***

Uh..Hem... My Turn! BABY NAME Ideas & Thoughts!

Ok, we are coming down to the wire!

Since we do not know what we are having, it is taking us *quite* a while to come up with names.

PLUS, it doesn't help that we have already used our favorite boys names.

As corny as it sounds, we would like to keep the "Disney Princess" names going if it is a girl. Fortunately, we LOVE the princess names anyways, even if they weren't princess names.

Here are out favorite girls (FIRST) names:

Pocohontas
Ariel

Favorite MIDDLE names:

Molly
Annie
Summer
Autumn
Tatiana
Daffodil
Faith/Joy/Hope
Priscilla

Boys FIRST & MIDDLE names:

Basil
Leif (don't worry, no "Basil Leif"!)
Finn
Psalm
Debussy
Delune

We could use some more suggestions for boys names. We like "different" names (duh Laughing )

What do you guys like?

BTW, every time I mention "Pocohontas" to ANYONE (except DH), I always get a chuckle! ..."But Claire! She is going to have to live with that name for the rest of her life!...." Don't do that to her! She doesn't deserve it!".... "Think about HER!"

Argh! We really like it and it IS unique. Plus, I am native american and my dad insisted on me having a native american name (my middle name is Cheyenne), so it would also be like passing down our heritage in the form of a name, you know?

What do you guys think?

***

I am so tempted to register on that board and let her know exactly what I think. Or maybe encourage her to name her kid this idiot name. I can't decide.

That poor kid. Pocohontas? WTF?

First of all, she doesn't even freaking spell it right. It's Pocahontas. If she can't spell it right, imagine a six year old trying to spell her own damn name.

Second, why, why, why would you do that to a child? I mean, I get wanting to name your kid in honor of your cultural heritage, but let's face it, her desire for a Disney princess name outweighs any kind of desire for a Native American name. After ten seconds of looking in the Native American section of our baby naming book, I found at least twenty far cooler, interesting and less prone to ridicule names than freaking Pocahontas. Plus if you are truly of Native American descent, wouldn't you want a name that reflects your actual particular tribal history than something that's been co-opted, bastardized and mangled by the Disney Corporation?

Further proof that it being a Disney princess is the most important thing for this woman. When someone suggests princess names (like Anastasia) that aren't used in Disney Movies this is the response:

My mom was trying to convince me to go with Anastasia yesterday. Not only did she want to name my sister that, but it IS a Russian princess.

However, it isn't a *Disney* princess. I think Warner Brothers or something did that movie. (Wouldn't dare go with an "off brand" princess name Shocked Laughing )

Pocohontas Priscilla? Pocohontas Daffodil? Psalm Debussy? (I wonder if anyone has told her that Ariel is from the Tempest and was written as a male... probably not.)

Sadly, all this woman has gotten so far is polite encouragement or people being far too nice and sidestepping the issue and trying to present less idiotic options.

*facepalm*

Comments

[kitbug.livejournal.com]

Parents like this make me wonder if they secretly hate their child and want them to suffer through school.

[winterfox.livejournal.com]

Plus, I am native american

I bet she'll pull the "MY ANCESTOR WAS A NATIVE AMERICAN " card any time now.

(I wonder if anyone has told her that Ariel is from the Tempest and was written as a male... probably not.)

Pfft, Shakespeare isn't Disney, so what does he matter?

Complete and utter *facepalm*

[singblueeyes.livejournal.com]

Errm...I believe I've mentioned the fact that my folks were, in fact, smoking dubious legal substances when they named me. I've managed to overcome and feel semi-comfortable with my moniker later in life, but school was living hell.
What concerns me more, even, than the tag this poor child will be stuck with for the rest of their lives ... is that fairy princess/entitlement mindset that will come with parents like these. *sigh* Girls like that either grow up to be on Reality shows like "Real Housewives of Orange County" ... or hooking on streetcorners after they realize life really isn't a Disney movie...

[rimwalker.livejournal.com]

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Seriously, where is a giant asteroid when you really need one?

[siujerkjai.livejournal.com]

What worries me is that she mentioned they want to keep the Disney princess theme going and they've already used their favorite boys' names... which means they've already named kids using these criteria.

Embarassing

[nivenus.livejournal.com]

Truth is these parents don't *hate* their kids. They just don't understand what having kids is about. These parents see their child as theirs, as in a possession, rather than a person. It's like a dog to them or a doll. They want to dress it up and name it something cute, and play with it.

What they're not getting is that one day that kid will grow up, become a teenager, hate their guts for a few years before growing out of it and becoming a mature adult.

However, if they name their kid something like "Pocahontas Priscilla" they're going to have a much more difficult time earning that kid's respect again in post-teen years.

*sigh*

[kosiah.livejournal.com]

There are no words. You should submit this letter to the baby names site.

BWAHAHAHA

[plutospawn.livejournal.com]

And in five years or so, I'll have the pleasure of teaching Pocohontas after she's been admitted with borderline personality disorder.

*Snort* part II

[singblueeyes.livejournal.com]

My co-worker adds two perfect comments to the conversation:

1. The whole scenario doesn't say much about the father's role in naming this child, for all that the poster uses the word 'we' ... especially the boys names chosen.

and

2. If they want a real 'Native American' name, they should just want and take note of the first thing they see once the baby's born ... he like's 'Scalpel' or 'Epidural'...

[maddcoffeybrown.livejournal.com]

Pocohontas Priscilla? Why does this name remind me of any drag queen movie ever made?
Hey at least the child isn't named after a sexual transmitted diease. There really are some poor children walking around with an STD inspired name. I think I can handle Pocohontas Priscilla than say Gonorrhea(the mom spelled it like that Gonoreaha, no joking!)or Chlamydia! Pocohontas Penicillin Priscilla might be a theme too. suggest that.

[athenaprime.livejournal.com]

Is she a teen mother or something? From one of those freeky-deeky cults? I've actually seen kids named "Psalm" and I want to know which one. But their freaky cult mothers don't seem to get the joke.

Any name you want to give to your kid, the first thing you do is say it about fifty five hundred times at a rapid rate. Because when they're three and have a death grip on the cat's tail, or when they're lost in the mall, that's exactly what you'll be doing.

Anyway, I sure hope they get that kid karate lessons or kevlar garanimals. The upside is that at least his therapist will know exactly where the psychoses come from.

ouch

[witchzenka.livejournal.com]

Disclaimer: I have a daughter named Silvara.

That said... ouch. ouch ouch ouch.